Unforgivable

Thank you, Tiffany M., Beverly Hills, CA, for your review(s) of Yellowstone National Park.

By chance, were you doing laundry on October 15th, 2009? It's been a while, but I really need you to think back. To me, this is the only logical explanation for your train of thought.

While your clothes were in the dryer, you sat down at your computer to write a mostly positive, yet vague review of Yellowstone National Park. You didn't have all the time in the world, so you saved yourself a whole half a second by writing "u" instead of "you." Thank goodness, because suddenly the whirring of the dryer stopped! You hit post and headed to the laundry room.

Once you laid everything out, you realized you were a little chilly - not because it's fall, but because it's October in LA and it's still hot as sin, and you're blasting the AC - so you reached for your sweater from the gift shop only to realize that it no longer fits. You could not stand for this! Forget about the stunning geysers, the vibrant thermal waters, the dramatic waterfalls, the bison roaming free, the elk calves getting shade under a tree; YOUR SWEATER FROM THE GIFT SHOP SHRUNK, AND THAT IS SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE.

You rushed back to the computer and furiously updated your review. Punctuation be damned, you said what you said, and you meant it! One star for Yellowstone! You vow never to return.

So, Tiffany M., how right am I?

One out of five stars.

See you next Tuesday.