Back to Yesteryear

In honor of today's announcement that Cole's French Dip in Downtown Los Angeles will reopen (!!!!!!), I would like to thank you, Justin M., Los Angeles, CA, for your review of Cole's French Dip in Downtown Los Angeles, CA... or at least for the portion of your review before you should have stopped. After that, I fell asleep.

(Readers, please do not feel obligated to read the entire review. It is not necessary to follow what I have to say below.)

For those who don't know, TLDR means "too long, don't read." Maybe instead of prefacing something with TLDR, just do a bit of editing instead. Are you aware that we're all going to die one day? Who has this kind of time? And speaking of death, I hope no one ever asks you to write their eulogy. Kind of shitty to spend a send-off focusing on how crappy you thought they were towards the end.

Aside from how pointless it is to review a business that is literally shutting its doors, you've actually said nothing helpful or interesting. The only highlight is the first sentence: "Personally, I blame the fact that everyone + their mother wants to come here and try it now because apparently, they couldn't get around to doing so despite Cole's being around for the past 117 years." This made me laugh because yes, that is a very long time to have not gotten around to patronizing a business. Then you started talking about your roommate and her now-husband and something about being there at 5 pm, and I fell into a deep, deep coma.

The sad part is, I bet you've heard the news that they're reopening, and I just know that you're going to have a lot to say. Ugh. Despite being a die-hard Philippe's girl, I am looking forward to Cole's renaissance. Your thoughts on the matter, not so much.

Two out of five stars.

See you next Tuesday.