The Naked Truth

Thank you, Rhea P., Montgomery, AL, for your review of the American Association for Nude Recreation in Kissimmee, FL. And thank you for this, which you attached for some reason, despite not being a member or in this photo.

Why yes, of course, we have all wanted to check out the American Association for Nude Recreation to see what kind of merchandise they offer. You're so funny trying to make it seem like you were just popping in on a whim. Below is the Google Maps street view of the location. This is not a place you just stumble upon; I would miss it even if it had flashing neon lights.

While we're on the subject, don't you find it ironic that an association promoting the nudist lifestyle sells clothing? I say this with as little degradation as possible: it's actually less weird to be a nudist than it is to wear a shirt that lets people know that you're a nudist. Does that make sense? Like, we all know that every human we're interacting with was or will be naked at some point throughout the day, but to let people know by wearing a shirt that you will be naked later and you will like it, is strange.

Maybe it's just because I'm 14 months postpartum via c-section and I've had maybe 3 full nights of sleep in that time, which has made me lean more towards the Tobias Funke's "never nude" lifestyle,

than, let's say, a "free the nipple" attitude, but why do you need to announce your nudity? Just be naked.

Anyway! Enough about me.

Clearly, you came prepared with questions and an open mind. And you've brought up some excellent points. Cooking? Dangerous. Gardening? Too many crevices. Mowing the lawn? Also dangerous and awkward for the neighbors. You're absolutely right; I don't think we need to see everyone's freedom. The idea of a rotation is hilarious, though. That's not going to work; hence, the desire for these communities.

It's good to know where you draw the line. The Yelp page shows a blurred photo of two nude seniors playing tennis. At an age where gravity has taken its toll, that sounds extremely uncomfortable to me. (One more quick thing about postpartum is that once you stop breastfeeding, your boobs become like two empty sandbags flopping in the wind. And I'm only 37! So fun!) I think your curiosity about being in nature in your natural state sounds like a nice place to start, but isn't that just camping?

You also bring up an interesting point - one I definitely hadn't considered - which is relying on accessorizing (specifically hats) to express oneself. I say 'interesting' because I think just being naked in a non-sexual way (I'm assuming) around a bunch of other people who like being naked in a non-sexual way says enough about self-expression, but I could be wrong. I also would never think to worry about Rachel Zoe. I actually don't think about her at all. Or any clothing designer for that matter.

In conclusion, I found this review to be humorous and thought-provoking, even if it has caused me to imagine people I do not find sexually attractive naked.

Four out of five stars.

See you next Tuesday.