Diamonds Are a Boy's Best Friend

Thank you, Joe H., Oceanside, NY, for your review of Citi Field, baseball stadium and home of the Mets, in Queens, NY.

Recently, I worked a catering event, and at one point I found myself sandwiched between two dudes at the water station. We stood there in silence as ice-cold water trickled into our jugs at an incredibly slow pace until I asked them, "Is this what it's like at the urinal?" They replied, "Kinda, yeah." Didn't feel that gay to me. Assuming you've been in other men's restrooms before, I don't know what you expected?

Arguably a gayer thing about this review is that you're watching a bunch of men wearing matching outfits with high socks, fancy little gloves, and shoes with little spikes on the bottom play a fun little game against another group of men also wearing matching outfits, all of whom are being yelled at about "bases" and "balls" by a bossy little man in a tight polo shirt. Seems pretty gay to me. (And I'm not even going to get into hunching over a crouched figure wearing knee pads while you twist and grip some wood.)

You waited three hours in the rain to watch them do this? GAY.

You went to the bathroom, and all you noticed were the other dicks out? Pretty darn gay.

Is there something you'd like to tell us?

Three out of five stars, though, because "No divider just be gay" legitimately made me laugh out loud.

See you next Tuesday.