Superfluous Buns
Thank you, Amy B., Ventura, CA, for your review of Trader Joe's in Templeton, CA.
This might be the most relatable review I've ever read. It's really more an indictment of the local community than Trader Joe's (although that parking lot rant is VERY real). Still, I think Trader Joe wouldn't mind you slandering his name with a one-star review to complain about this justifiably irritating situation.
We're always told to respect our elders, but what is often forgotten is that just because someone's old doesn't mean they're a good person. I think old people are often pretty terrible, actually. And I get it. Life is EXHAUSTING, and I'm sure I'll be a crotchety old bitch myself one day; that doesn't mean I have to excuse that behavior now. I've actually had this same thing happen to me at a grocery store. The cashier came to my defense and pointed out that the elderly person behind me had just as few items as I did: ONE. We still let them cut, but we got to shame them in the process.
If this review were a little longer, it would make a great audition monologue. I can hear it so clearly in my head. It's giving George Banks-meltdown-about-the-quantity-of-hot-dog-buns in Father of the Bride. If you haven't seen it (how?!), here it is. One of the best and most relatable scenes in movie history, IMHO.
You wrote this review 15 years ago, so there's a chance you may now be the old grandma trying to cut in line even though the person in front of you has only one item. You don't have that much time left on this earth, you know; you don't want to waste it standing in line at the grocery store. Life is funny, isn't it? And so is your review.
Five out of five stars.
See you next Tuesday.
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