That's a Wrap on 2024

Happy New Year’s Eve! I’ve had the luxury of sleeping quite a bit this holiday season, and during one of my many snoozes, I had a dream in which my five-year-old self was asked if she was proud of the adult I’ve become. I woke up before I could get a definitive answer but something tells me it wasn’t a confident YES. 

[SIDE NOTE: If you’re one of those people who’d say that your five-year-old self would be proud of the person you are today then good for you but also get fucked. No one needs that kind of toxic positivity and you sound like you might be pretty irritating to hang out with.] 

As the year comes to an end, it’s normal to have a little self-reflection, and this dream sent me into a teeny, quiet spiral for a day. My fear with having a blog like this is that I’m perceived as a deeply negative person who has nothing better to do than shit on other people shitting on things. If I’ve done a good job - still out for debate - this should definitely not be the message but I can’t control what everyone thinks of me (even though I try!) 

Bottom line: It upsets me that we live in a world where everyone is the star of their own show. 

As I said in my first post of the year, “No one asked for this,” yet social media apps and review sites have led us all to believe that the world needs to hear our every thought and opinion. We (notice I’m including myself in this) are all guilty of this. But, as someone who has spent a good portion of the last 15 years working in the service industry, I find there is an abuse of this “voice.” Blah, blah, blah, if you read my blog, you know this is why I have it.

Would the kid I used to be, the one who woke up every day with a cup-half-full attitude, understand that I’m trying to right this injustice I feel is so rampant, or would she feel that I’ve become jaded? I would argue that both things are true (I grew up in New York, it’s not entirely my fault.)

Whether or not I’m successfully fighting the bullies in a ridiculous, low-stakes way, I plan to continue reviewing these reviews. For my happy five-year-old self, I will try to remember that these sites can be a way for people to connect, that people who say things like “birthday week” aren’t necessarily the worst, and that some people think writing a Yelp review after every experience is important. (And I believe that reviewing reviews is important.) 

We’re all trying to make an impact… in whatever small way we can.

So, if I’m going to try to be aware that people are entitled to their opinions, I hope those writing those opinions are aware that they might be doing more damage than good which should not be the point. (To give Yelp the benefit of the doubt, I don’t think their business model was to encourage people to rip things apart, but… human nature… that’s what happened anyway.)

And then, if little me really doesn’t understand here’s what I want to say to her: Lil, there’s something called the internet that has ruined the way people communicate. At this point in life, you don’t have that much clout, but this is your tiny way of trying to point out how absolutely insane it all is. Also (totally unrelated), you don’t need to start shaving your armpits at 12 years old - you have the rest of your life to do this and it’s absurd how often you will so, just wait. 

Alrighty, now that I’ve done what I generally find incredibly annoying in most reviews (sharing one’s entire life story), here is my last review of the year:

I’ll admit, I don’t know who wrote this or what it’s for. A friend of mine sent it to me the other day and I think it’s a perfect way to end the year. 

So, thank you, Amazon User, United States for your one-star review of something. 

You didn't order the thing and the thing you didn't order, didn't arrive...

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?! What was the point of this?! Was this a slow day in your life and you figured, why not do something pointless yet infuriating?

AND THEN FOUR PEOPLE FOUND THIS HELPFUL!!!

Everyone's goal for 2025 should be to go outside.

One out of five stars.

See you next Tuesday.

P.S. We could all do better for our younger selves.