In Honor of Saint Patrick

Thank you, Rick G., New York, NY, for your review of the Saint Patrick's Day Parade in New York, NY.

Before we get started, I'd like to address the elephant in the room. It is Wednesday, not Tuesday. Personal time is hard to come by for me these days, and I could not get it together in time. Better late than never, I suppose, so, let's get to it.

Though this was written in 2009, I do agree with most of what has been said, though I think it should be emphasized that what you are describing is what occurs in the city after the parade. The parade itself is usually nice, if not uneventful.

I, too, have nothing against the Irish. Until today, I thought I was significantly Irish - I took Irish Step Dancing every Tuesday night in the basement of a church in Yorkville, from the age of 5 until my sophomore year of high school - but upon checking my AncestryDNA, I'm seeing that my family was nearby but not actually in Ireland. Apparently, we were in Belgium, where the French fries are.

As someone who grew up in New York, my issue is with the people who come into the city to celebrate these drinking holidays. Amateurs, as you say. The city celebrates Saint Patrick's Day as if he died from alcohol poisoning, and we're doing him the honor of trying to do the same, yet every Irish person I know can hold their liquor. I'm not saying they don't get rowdy, but they're not the ones dressed up like slutty leprechauns, puking up green on the subway at 8 am on a Tuesday. Those people are from Long Island and New Jersey. Be mad, but am I wrong? (I'm not).

You also mention the Puerto Rican Day Parade. I feel that this must be addressed. In terms of worst days in the city, it goes SantaCon, Puerto Rican Day Parade, Saint Patrick's Day, and New Year's Eve. (In my opinion!) I also have nothing against Puerto Ricans, but the Irish didn't spray paint the front of my apartment building for no reason, and I do like a bagpipe.

In terms of how you wrote this review... this is where I have a problem. You might be right, but you sound, um, dweeby. And smug. Anyone who says, "If I could give this less than one star I would," is a dweeb. You can't, so just get over it. Anyone who says, "I remember when I had my first beer," is also a dweeb. New York is a city full of raging alcoholics, and they do behave this way on any given Tuesday, so if that's going to be a problem, I would suggest not leaving the house. Have you left the house in the last seventeen years? Have you moved? Are you alive?

Anyway, I hope everyone had a responsible Irish drinking holiday.

Two out of five stars.

See you (next) Tuesday.