One Life to Live

Lately, I've changed my outlook on those Yelp Elites out there. I figure if you're going to do something as lame as reviewing every single place you go, you might as well be the "best" at it, and take advantage of all the free crap/events they plan for you guys.

BUT...

(You knew there'd be a "but")

Look at this review. DON'T read it; I didn't. I couldn't! Just look at it. All trillion words of it. All trillion words describing Fuyme J.'s experience of the Warner Bros. Studio Tour. No one would even need to take the tour after reading your review.

Do you people know that we're all going to die one day?

You could be telling me the craziest thing that ever happened, and I would miss out because I'm not going to read something this long. CORRECTION: I'm not going to read a Yelp review this long. A novel, an article, something written by someone whose career I admire, yes, but a review, absolutely not.

Go outside! Live your life! Be Yelp Elite if you must, but get a grip. This is ridiculous.

Zero out of five stars.

See you next Tuesday.