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Nothing Means Anything

  • Lil
  • 1 day ago
  • 2 min read
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Thank you, Leanna S., Sparks, NV for your review of Bearizona in Williams, AZ. 


According to Google, “Bearizona is a drive-through safari park near Williams. Arizona, on Historic Route 66. It contains a variety of animals that visitors can see up close from their car or shuttle. It was founded in 2010 and is known for its black bear cubs.” 


As someone who planned a leg of a recent vacation around going to Bearizona, I can confidently say, IT IS AMAZING. Like Jurassic Park but legal. Black bears, grizzly bears, elk, wolves, bison, you name it, all frolicking around your car as you slowly drive through. And you can drive through as many times as you want in one business day. And you can get out of the car and see other animals, including a live show with animals that I didn’t even know existed. 


And yeah, I guess you can eat there. 


Leanna S., you’ve singlehandedly proven that nothing on this site means anything. You claim the park was “great :)”, but the restaurant was so overpriced and bad that you gave the entire experience a one-star? 


Nothing means anything. 


Here is what I think you sound like, using made-up examples of other reviews:


  1. Dodgers Stadium. One star. 


    Went to a Dodgers game yesterday. I spilled mustard on my Dodgers shirt that I'd just spent $48 on, but the game was riveting. Tied with bases loaded at the bottom of the ninth. Shohei Ohtani hit a homer, and the Dodgers took the game. :)


  1. The Grand Canyon. One star. 


    Went to the North Rim in October. It was really cold, and the parking lots were too far away from the views. Truly the most breathtaking place I’ve been in my life. Pictures don’t do it justice :)


  1. Greg from the bar down the street. One star. 


    Slept with Greg from the bar down the street a couple of years ago. His curtains were the ugliest fabric I’ve ever seen, but the sex was great, pretty sure he’s my soulmate. Actually, we’re getting married tomorrow :)



Nothing. Means. Anything. 


One out of five stars, Leanna S.


See you next Tuesday. 

 
 
 

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