10/10

Thank you, Jenn M., Santa Rosa, CA for your review of Olive Garden Italian Restaurant in Rohnert Park, CA.

I'll be honest, I came to this Yelp page looking for disaster, specifically, a Valentine's Day disaster (my favorite kind.) It's not that I don't want people to enjoy love; I'd simply prefer they do it on their own terms rather than on the capitalist clock and with reasonable expectations.

Anywho!

What I found instead was what I believe to be the most perfect review I have ever read. Funny, succinct, and sensible. Olive Garden gave you the exact experience you needed in that moment, but you still gave it four out of five stars because anyone with taste knows you just can't give it the whole five.

Apparently, business is already thriving for this restaurant chain (I've only been once, about 18 years ago), but if they changed their slogan from "When you're here, you're family" to "When you're questioning your life choices, Olive Garden understands you," they might end up being the most successful restaurant ever to exist.

Excellent work, Jenn M.

Five out of five stars.

See you next Tuesday.